Do not let your heart envy...ouch, that's rough!

I was sitting in church on Sunday and, though I hate to admit it, I wasn't paying complete attention to the preaching. It was on parenting, and because of my field, I've done a lot of work with parenting and wasn't feeling all that captivated or motivated to focus. Also, I must admit, I was starting to throw myself a little pity party, complete with hats, noisemakers, balloons and streamers, over my recent miscarriage. It seemed, in that moment, like all the world's unwed women were getting pregnant, but I wasn't despite being in a marriage that was God honoring.

The Lord immediately led me to Proverbs 23:17 (which sat across the page from some verse the rest of the congregation was reading on parenting) which reads "Do not let your heart envy sinners, But live in the fear of the Lord always. Surely there is a future, And your hope will not be cut off."

Wow! Exactly what I needed to hear! Surely there is a future and the Lord will not cut off my hope (of having a family, complete with little babies to raise up with Nick) as long as I am living in fear of Him. And I'm pretty sure in this instance the "fear" of the Lord is referring to the Hebrew word "yirah", which denotes piety, awe, and reverence rather than abject terror, as mentioned in Isaiah 2:10, 19 and 21. So, thank you Jesus, for meeting me where I'm at!