My season of rest and growth

As many of you know, I (Brooke) have been unemployed since July 12, 2009. In the season of unemployment, the Lord has taught me so many valuable lessons:

First, He helped me through my job loss by identifying my true identity as that of a Child of His, a saint in His Kingdom, a sister to Christ. He reminded me that my identity is not my profession/position, my possessions, or to the pleasures of this earth as many would have us believe (See Matthew 4:1–10). He drew me closer to Himself and kept me in an uncomfortable place of dependence on my husband and on Him until I was resting peacefully in His Truth, and relying on Him, rather than myself, for my provisions (Ezekial 16:19, Jonah 4:6).

Second, He revealed to me His plans and intentions for how we are to handle our anger, hurt feelings, and conflicts. This was difficult as most who know me would tell you that I'm the first to get fired up and directly confront (*directly approaching is biblical) and tell the world about it (not biblical)! But, in the pain and grief of a lost relationship, the Lord brought me to a place of peace through his Word and He helped me to keep my mouth shut, despite wanting to defend myself or blame the other person. While asking friends, family, and others for advice are the standard in this world, I found I needed to recognize that the Lord is the source of true wisdom. We need to filter everything through the truth of Scripture. (Read Matthew 18:15-35, Romans 12:1-17, Jeremiah 9:24, & Lamentations 3:22-24, Ephesians 4:26, Psalm 4:4-5, Matthew 5:44).

In January, Nick and I discovered we were pregnant, only later to lose the baby (at about 6 weeks); I've never experienced something more heartbreaking! But the Lord, again was faithful and met me with His peace (Phillipians 4:7)...and it did completely surpass my understanding! He also reminded me in Jeremiah 29 that only He knows "the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD." He has spoken words of encouragement through Nick on so many occasions. The sadness comes and goes in waves, the feeling of loss is still there, but God's peace is bigger and takes up more room in my heart now. The Lord is healing my body, and we pray that in His timing, He will bless us with children whom we can raise up to know Him and impact their world for the Kingdom!

Lastly, Nick and I have been living very tightly since our wedding day. Many wedding details (and honeymoon) were put on a credit card (uh oh) and the reality of that debt, as well as wedding vendor's "final bills," hit about September (wawahwah). We have been faithfully frugal, and have not withheld the Lord's portion (10% of our first! Dueteronomy 14:22, Leviticus 27:30) from Him, despite having to pull from savings, and make the hard choice of not participating in the giving of gifts--to ourselves, our family, and friends during the holiday (and birthday and valentine's and...) season. Plus, we're living on just one income! It's hard to trust "the Lord will provide" when you're eating Ramen noodles! lol. But, He does provide! A late wedding gift paid for unexpected bills in the Fall. Our tax return paid for our car's repairs. And in this fallow season, I've learned the art of cutting coupons, shopping at 2-3 stores for the best deals, and how to say no to luxuries like Feta Cheese and pine nuts.

And, now, having brought me to this place of trusting in Him fully, the Lord has closed the door on this season of rest. Be careful what you pray for--He answers prayers! In my desire to help my husband financially I have been praying and claiming the prayers of Paul in Ephesians 3:14-21

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

I prayed the Lord would grow my private practice, that He would do more than I could ask for or imagine for myself. That He would provide a steady stream of income, and a way for Nick and I to save for our future family. PRAYER ANSWERED! The LORD PROVIDED! (see my blog note, when it rains, it pours!)

I'm so blessed! Not because of what I have, or what I do, but because the Lord loves me, and provides for me, and will never leave or forsake me despite my stubborn ways and despite it taking me longer to learn these lessons than most.